Shoujo Vice

It looks like I have a vice - shoujo anime (and manga occasionally). Given that my last post was about the shoujo anime I watched in the past months, this shouldn't be a big surprise, given my viewing habits this month as well. So far I've finished watching Special A, and now I am in the middle of the currently airing Hanasakeru Seishounen.


My thoughts about Special A - just another story about elite high school kids, with the lead girl completely oblivious to the feelings of her first-ranking classmate and rival. Quite aggravating, but for some reason, I couldn't stop watching it. The style reminded me of Ouran High School Host Club, but while I liked Ouran, Special A wound up feeling completely trite. At the same time, I can't say that Ouran is my style. Anime that I really like and display on my shelves are generally more serious and 'epic'. And then I found Hanasakeru Seishounen. Which has similarities with Saiunkoku Monogatari, given it's highly political nature, but I wouldn't say I like it as much. The lead female character (Kajika) is a little too good. On the other hand, Shuurei from SaiMono might be considered the same way, so...I think I should hold off till I finish watching the series, which might take a while since all the episodes are not out yet.

While shoujo is my vice, I definitely have a deeper appreciation of things that are...do I need to say it? Epic. I watched Cirque du Soleil's KÀ live in Las Vegas, and it was something I would definitely want to see again (and even pay the highest price for). This was my first Cirque du Soleil experience, and I LOVED every minute of it.

October/November Shoujo Season

Pretty much what the title says: I've marathon-viewed a grand total of four shoujo anime series within the past couple of months, and started on one that is currently airing. And I am presenting my brief thoughts on each. The series are, in the order of viewing, Lovely Complex (Love*Com), ToraDora, Saiunkoku Monogatari, Itazura na Kiss, and the currently airing Kimi ni Todoke. I believe that I might have gotten my shoujo fix. Or maybe not, because my masochistic self has just prompted me to start the live-action Japanese dorama of Itazura na Kiss.

Ah, where to start? Well, I would say that the anime that stands out in excellence (and is possibly now one of my favorite anime for all time) is Saiunkoku Monogatari or The Story of Saiunkoku (Country of the Colored Clouds). Best example of a female empowerment Japanese animated series I have ever seen. And of course, it has a heavy dose of fantasy politics - definitely my thing. For those who don't know, it's about a young woman called Shuurei, in a country that is sort of a fantasy version of old feudal China (or the Japanese interpretation of it), who has ambitions of entering court politics. The way she starts out is highly shoujo reverse-harem style, by winding up as the Consort (in name only) of the supposedly gay emperor, and other shoujo elements include having half of the men in the series fall for her, particularly the Emperor Shi Ryuuki (who winds up not being gay, *sigh*). Here begin my spoilers.

Shuurei. Some people might think she's too perfect. She can cook, she's smart, she's pretty (if not gorgeous - in comparison to all the lovely men around her) and she has ambitions that exceed all of this. Love is never any sort of priority (or even given any consideration) for her. Strong woman, right? But what I like about her are her flaws, which might not be seen as such. For starters, she's inexperienced and naive - to be expected for being the first female governor. But what really touched me is what she felt for Sa Sakujun, as opposed to Ryuuki. She halfway fell for the bad guy. I've read a lot of blog posts that had major issues with Shuurei for this, but I think it's realistic. Feelings of attraction have nothing to do with reason, and thankfully Shuurei is not so 'strong' character that she's immune to it. In fact, what really makes her strong is her ability to move beyond it - even though it haunted her considerably.

Ryuuki was not my favorite choice of partner for Shuurei in the first season (and I believe she agrees with me), but I think I'm a supporter of the pairing after season two, when the man finally gains some sense of maturity. In fact, I entertained the idea of Shuurei and Kouyuu together, but in the light of the ending, it's ShuureiXRyuuki all the way.

And the politics! Here is a series that is almost as good as Juuni Kokki (Twelve Kingdoms).

The other anime I watched during this time period pales in comparison to Saiunkoku, but some of them were worthwhile. Lovely Complex, a romantic comedy about a tall girl falling for her shorter guy-friend was definitely fun to watch, if slightly frustrating at times. While I say it was frustrating, it's not really because the characters were flawed. I admire Risa for having the balls to tell Otani that she liked him, and while Otani was blunt and clueless most of the time, he was a good guy who really cared about his friends. It takes a year for him to have feelings for Risa in return, but it's rewarding to see them together. Compared to this, Itazura na Kiss was absolutely aggravating in that Kotoko, and equally strong heroine as Risa (though I prefer Risa, who's a bit more of an individual) falls for an absolute jerk. And continues to like him even when he says things like "I hate dumb girls like you" and so on. Honestly, I really feel that Kotoko must have had serious self-esteem issues since she didn't even TRY to get over him. The series became more tolerable after they get married (yes, they do - the jerk Irie has some sort of revelation that doesn't unfortunately stop him from being a jerk)...it's interesting to see a portrayal of married life. But seriously...Kotoko, you were a bit of an idiot when you were young.

Toradora - oh dear, the tale of masochism, honestly. With this girl liking that boy, and the other boy liking this girl, and then everyone changing their love interests...in the end, I feel sort of sorry for Ami, who knew exactly what was going on at all times. True, she was a bitch in the beginning, but she had a sense of maturity that other people didn't have. And yet another anime that ended up with long-term implications (I'm a little surprised at the frequency at which marriage, if not an event but a discussion at least, comes up for high-schoolers and college kids in these anime).

Kimi ni Todoke...still airing, and the main character is a little hard to swallow...but it's cute.

I guess out of these anime, my rankings for preference would go something like this (leaving out KnT) -

1. Saiunkoku Monogatari
2. Lovely Complex
3. Toradora
4. Itazura na Kiss

That's all.

Hopefully Something New

I just remembered that I still have this blog. Since I've forgotten about this blog altogether in the past few months, I guess it's pretty obvious that I haven't been much into writing lately. Well, that's not entirely true. I have been writing. Copious amounts of things. But in my journal, which no one except myself has permission to lay their hands on. Not that they'd really want to!

I remembered about Phoenix on the Shore when I briefly considered, a few days ago, whether I'd want to try writing a novel for November's National Novel Writing Month. In the end, I've decided not to. I'm already participating in a 'Walk 10,000 Steps' every day at work, and trying to write an average of five pages every day is a bit much for me, unfortunately. Also, I figure that I need to spend more time reading than writing anyway.

But a nice bright update - I have a feeling that my official identity as an Ally (the A in the LGBTQA) might be influential in anything that I may ever write (should I actually get back to some good creative writing). After a long, long time, I realize that it is more than essential to follow one's heart. I've been following my mind for my entire existence - but this is it. It's one thing to be confused. It's another thing entirely to know where you stand with yourself, but hesitating to do anything about it.

Yes, I know. None of this makes any sense. But in the end, I know my writing will be better for it. Less wimpy, if anything!

Changes

I have given it a bit of thought, and I've decided to turn this blog into a collection of mini-essays about important things (to me, at least), because trying to find inane things to write about and keeping them impersonal is just something I don't want to do. Writing ought to be personal, don't you think? Or...well, it doesn't have to relate directly to the writer, but at the very least, the author and some of the readers should have a connection to it. The writing may not be personal but the connection is. Make sense?

Return to the Wor(l)d

It has been a long time since I've written, whether it was in this blog, or any fanfiction or otherwise. Just a hell of a lot of stress has been keeping me from doing anything. People, work, living situations, you name it, I've had a problem with it. Hopefully, starting next week, after I take a much-needed short vacation (it should have been longer, but oh well), I will make my return to this world.

I miss writing. I miss having an audience (one of the few instances where I love attention - I guess other instances would include being among friends, and in academic work in a non-presentation/speech sort of way). I hope that I can continue writing things that people enjoy. Having fans of my work on fanfiction helped tremendously this year during the rough times.

An Epic Mood

[Click on the title, and listen to one of the most compelling anime soundtrack pieces that exist.]

I have just completed my second viewing of Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo - or rather, finished watching it on Sunday, and have been dabbling in the episodes and music since. Even going as far as to let it influence the mood for the next installment of Blossoms. At this point, even though I have not written much more than 300 words of the next chapter, I have a general story planned out, complete with action and drama. And maybe even a love triangle. You've got to love the effect epic stories have on certain people.

I love Gankutsuou. I don't think I know of any other anime that is more aesthetically pleasing (and trippy, before you get used to the strange multi-layered animation), has more appropriate music (though I wish they had better lyrics for the opening ; it's painful to have to have that stuck in my head for hours at a time), and has a compelling story. I started reading the novel two years ago right after I watched the series for the first time, before a beloved sibling of mine swiped it. I've picked it up once again, printing out a chapter at a time from Project Gutenberg because I'm just a little bit of a cheapskate.

I wonder if anyone has cried as much as I did from Episode 18 ("The Duel") onwards - with the exception of Episode 20 ("Farewell, Eugenie"), which was somewhat satisfying. I'm surprisingly as much of an Albert/Eugenie fan as I am a Franz/Albert fan. At least within the context of the anime; it doesn't quite work with the novel, where I hear that Eugenie is a lesbian, and Franz is not quite so inclined.

And Nakata Jouji as the Count/Edmond Dantes is unbelievably superb, but then again, his voice as Folken in Escaflowne did make me fall in love with him.

All right, enough of this gushing. I shall go on to do more useful things.

Angsty Advancement

After receiving six reviews for Blossoms, two of which included a wish or an expectation for it to be continued, I find myself proceeding with the story. Only, it becomes a little difficult, because I have always imagined Yuuri to deny any sort of union with Wolfram. But if I continue it, I can imagine only two endings - and both of which must be happy, or somewhat happy, because I don't feel like angst is the way I want to end things. The first ending would be a Yuuri-discovers-feelings-for-Wolfram, and the second, since Murata has appeared in Blossoms already, would contain an eventual Wolfram-ends-up-with-Murata-while-Yuuri-looks-on.

After much thought, I think I might make it the former. Maybe have Wolfram do some cooling off, while Yuuri does some soul-searching. Because the other option, while it must have been done before, messes up the whole Shinou-Daikenja legendary pairing that I prefer to have undisturbed. On the other hand, I'm going to have to come up with reasons why Yuuri suddenly starts to become physically attracted to Wolfram.

Well, let's see what happens. I have a few excerpts written, and I'll figure out if it works.

A Writer's Feelings

A long time ago, in a drama class I had once taken (or had no choice but to take), it was said that an actor must hold memories of different emotions and let them surface at the appropriate times to convey the full feeling of a scene they must enact. Writers probably have to do the same to. They must get into the hearts of their characters, rejoice in their happiness, languish in their depression, experience their grief.

In my new one-shot Blossoms, I will explore Wolfram's feelings on his being rejected by Yuuri. The odd thing is that, when I first wrote it, I was much in the same mood. Sad, but willing to enjoy the good weather. I have a feeling, however, that if I wrote about dark clouds and rain, Wolfram would have taken to his (own) bed and lain there for days on end, in sheer depression.

I'm not sure I want to have such a connection with Wolfram. But I have chosen to write about him, and that's what I think he would feel. Despite all his fire, there is one thing that could bring him down faster than the Shinkansen, and that is Yuuri. Nor can Wolfram blame Yuuri - one simply cannot force another to have feelings that they do not already have, and if they did, well, they have major issues.

At the end of the one-shot, Murata is seen walking underneath the balcony Wolfram is standing on, and the former sees Wolfram's tear-stained visage. He immediately calls Yuuri an idiot. Well, maybe Yuuri is an idiot and doesn't realize how much he is hurting Wolfram. And indeed, unless Yuuri is in love with Conrad or some such (something I find kind of unlikely, because it just seems unromantic), Yuuri has no idea how it feels to be rejected. That may be what Murata is referring to in my one-shot: the fact that Yuuri doesn't know much about things. I don't believe that Murata would want, however, for Yuuri to force himself to feel something for Wolfram that he does not.

Both Yuuri and Wolfram have it pretty bad. I'm not sure which one is worse, to be the one to reject or to be rejected. And...that's saying something, for being one who has felt both simultaneously. If only I had an answer.

New Beginnings and Human Emotions

Welcome to my fresh new beginning. Still called Phoenix on the Shore, but this blog will be much more focused on my writing and other related creative things. Thus, I am hereby announcing my update to Kyou Kara Maou: Chronicles of Color. If you are familiar with the series and are also fond of the ramblings of an overenthusiastic mind on this particular subject, feel free to peruse it. And if you are not, go ahead anyways. My writing has improved greatly since my Fanelia: Four Years Later days, though I'm sure there is much more improvement to be made.

One of these days I will post a oneshot Kyou Kara Maou fanfic, called "Blossoms" - it is about Wolfram's unrequited love for Yuuri. While it is already written, I will post it later, maybe making a few more tweaks to it. I wanted to feel - through Wolfram - how it must be to care about someone so much, have them perfectly aware of it but not have those feelings returned. But somehow, the current time seems to be inappropriate for posting it.

Love is a tricky subject. Attraction especially; it seems to me to be something inexplicably unexplainable (yes, that phrase was coined on purpose). Human relationships and emotions are the key to every single piece of creative work that has ever existed, and often I think that there is absolutely no exception. In the past few weeks, I have gone through almost all of Jacqueline Carey's first Kushiel trilogy, watched the Korean film adaptation of Antique Bakery, and today even saw the new Star Trek movie at the theater. I wonder if anyone has ever tried anything different.